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Details if other :. Thanks for telling us about the problem. Return to Book. Dawson Goodre Author. Kevin Hearne Goodre Author. Once upon a time, in a faraway kingdom, a hero, the Chosen One, was born. This is not that fairy tale. There is a Chosen One, but he is unlike any One who has ever been Chosened.
And there is a faraway kingdom, but you have never been to a magical world quite like the land of Pell.I GOT THE 5000 KILLS to unlock farmboy luke, and princess leia in less than 21 hours!!!!
There, a plucky farm boy will find more than he's Once upon a time, in a faraway kingdom, a hero, the Chosen One, was born. There, a plucky farm boy will find more than he's bargained for on his quest to awaken the sleeping princess in her cursed tower. First there's the Dark Lord who wishes for the boy's untimely death. Then there's a bard without a song in her heart but with a very adorable and fuzzy tail, an assassin who fears not the night but is terrified of chickens, and a mighty fighter more frightened of her sword than of her chain-mail bikini.
This journey will lead to sinister umlauts, a trash-talking goat, the Dread Necromancer Steve, and a strange and wondrous journey to the most peculiar "happily ever after" that ever once-upon-a-timed. Get A Copy. More Details Original Title. The Tales of Pell 1. Friend Reviews. To see what your friends thought of this book, please up. To ask other readers questions about Kill the Farm Boyplease up.
Is this appropriate for YA readers? Heidi This answer contains spoilers… view spoiler [ Depends on the age. People do die. Blood, broken bones and viscera are described. Lots of poop jokes. So many poop jok …more Depends on the age. So many poop jokes. Some parents would object to the romance between two women. The sex is off stage. There is a mention or two of dangling bits and a guy gets decked for coming onto an uninterested woman. I need this book in my life! Can't I read it now??????? Lists with This Book.
Community Reviews. Showing Average rating 3. Rating details. More filters. Sort order. Aug 22, Miranda Re rated it liked it Shelves: audiobook. Name's Staph. I'm here to change your life The good news and the bad news is that you're the Chosen One. Being relatively new at this Chosen One schtick, Worstely sets off to find a quest.
Something would go down there soon. But for now, the lady slept. And drooled a "I'm a pixie. And drooled a little, probably. And soon hears of a sleeping princess in a tower - perfect! Staph, for all her unpleasentness, was never wrong. And that meant Meanwhile, Fia, a fighter, armed with a bloodthirsty sword and a chain mail bikini gotta protect the important parts stumbles quite literally upon Westley One thing's for certain, this will be one for the ages! Have you learned nothing from this journey? Magic is a drug. You can't just go around eating everything that sparkles. This book ended up being a lot of fun!
It's really heavy on the parody and satire - which is something right up my alley. The absurdity was off the charts. I quite liked how it played upon the various standards of the genre i. There characters were fun caricatures of the typical folks you would see dark lord who was an agoraphobia, an assassin who is more likely to kill out of clumsiness, etc.
There was a surprisingly sweet relationship between Fia the fighter and the bunny-bard that really stole the show for me. Though, I do admit, after around it did start to get a bit old - it was A LOT of snark jammed in there and it is contrary to popular belief possible to overdose on snark. All in all - this was a fun foray into this subgenre, though I do think I will need a break before I jump into the next one. Audiobook Comments Luke Daniels was the narrator and wow. Gold star to him.
He went FULL ham on it - all the characters had their own voice, and often over-the-top types of voices. Nicely done Luke! View all 3 comments. Aug 12, Michelle rated it it was ok Shelves: abandoned-series. The humor attacks rather than amuses, and with long sections of jokes about bodily excretions and masturbation. There are just too many over the top fantasy tropes constantly under a barrage of puns, stupid language, and flat out being made fun of while also having a not so subtle undercurrent of leftist garbage identity politics being pushed.
The same ideas are repeated again and again until you can practically make the joke for the book. Shall I discuss the plot? There is none, really--only a flimsy clothesline to link some of the gags; The characters? They are all types or targets, not people; The dialogue? Just mindless drivel mostly consisting of badly strung together sets of low brow puns and jokes. This was exhausting to read, and I am immensely relieved to be finished and be rid of this book! View all 18 comments. Jun 15, Lyn rated it liked it. There may be a sub-genre in the fantasy list about parody and satire: turning fairy tales on their backside and having some fun.
The premise is entertaining enough but the two collaborators make this better with droll word play and double entendres aplenty and more than a handful of penis jokes — like what I did there? True, s is not a lengthy book by most standards, but Scalzi recognized that there is only so much snark you can stretch into an idea, even a good one.A simple farmboy looking for his one
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A simple farmboy looking for his one